Hide and seek - cycling revisited

 Gosh! It was 11 years ago that I wrote about how evolution had provided certain species with protective colouration, either to protect themselves (usually from being eaten), or to warn others that they are a danger. (See: Black and Yellow means Danger)

The post was about wasps and cyclists both wearing black and yellow so that they could be easily seen and avoided.

What has happened since is proof that evolution is a continuing process - nothing to do with wasps, which continue to dress in their bright, fear inducing, warning colours - but cyclists. When I wrote the earlier post I lived in urbania, streetlights, wide footpaths, and traffic at 30mph or less. I now live in deepest, darkest Devon.

The cycling clones who either live in, or visit the countryside for their holidays, have, by and large, evolved from the conspicuous, brightly coloured pestilence that you could see from afar, your heart sinking with dismay at joining a queue of slow moving traffic unable to pass with the compulsory 1.5 metre gap, to a covert, secretive, and almost invisible camouflaged shape lurking in the shadows and hedgerows.

What has happened to the gaudy, hi-viz, eye-screechingly yellow tops? They have been replaced with, grey, green, brown, and black - and not on their own, sometimes in combination. 

Now, the lanes of north Devon are lined with banks, bushes, walls, and trees. These, in turn, cast shadows so the standard colour-scheme is ... grey, green, brown, and black, usually in combination.

I've tried to understand this change. Has being visible caused them to become targets? Is there some fashion where yellow is no longer de rigueur and wearing it is an embarrassment? Have cyclists, like lemmings, some kind of death-wish? As a keen motorcyclist I was more than happy to wear bright reflective gear to avoid the SMIDSY effect (Sorry Mate I Didn't See You|). 

I shall continue to give them a wide berth - assuming I see them, of course - because; I have no desire to hear their inane drivel if they think I'm too close, pathetic whinging should I bounce them into the bushes, or have to polish off the nasty marks they leave on the paintwork. 

I can't envisage that being camouflaged will do their cause any good, and will be interested to see if any court cases are decided  against them on the grounds of failing to ensure their own safety.

I'll revisit the matter in another 11 years.

Black and yellow means danger

Nature has a fine way of warning us about dangerous things. Wasps and bees are famous for their colouration; black and yellow. As soon as you spot one your blood runs cold with fear. The only thing you can expect from a wasp is pain. Bees are slightly less aggressive, but can be just as painful. Everybody hates these nasty creatures and goes to great lengths to avoid them. (OK, bees are not bad if they keep their distance.)

These same principles apply to cyclists. They, too, dress in black and yellow. The pretext being to be highly visible and keep the rider safe. In reality this particular species of humanoid is displaying its warning to those around, that it is a threat to their health.

These individuals lack the ability to keep themselves safe, instead they they wobble aimlessly along public roads on bicycles. They are unaware of other vehicles, pedestrians, road junctions or traffic signals. If there is no danger on the road, they will create it by riding on the footpaths.

The only way to protect yourself from these threats to humanity, is be observant, keep your distance, and be prepared. Their movements are unpredictable, they can appear, unannounced, from a side street, ride in the centre of the lane, or turn across your path without warning.

Their colouration is most appropriate - they are dangerous.

Vehicular pollution

It seems to be getting more popular, people riding pedal cycles to work.

I'm not sure why they do it, maybe to get fit and lose a few pounds (or should that be kilogrammes?), save a few bob (that's shillings, 5p each) on fuel and parking, or maybe to save the planet by using less fossil fuel.

Well, if it's the latter, they are failing miserably. For every mile they cycle, they save the fuel they would have used in their family car. But unfortunately for the planet, they cause every vehicle that has to crawl along in a low gear, following for miles before they can get past, to run their engines inefficiently increasing the polluting effect. I often join a queue of up to twenty cars, vans and trucks stuck behind some wobbly derrier weaving along the lanes, making it impossible to pass.

With the extra pollution they cause and the inability of the average cyclist to take notice of the rules of the road, they are the scourge of the road using society. Tax the buggers! That's what I say!

Hmmm ... who's next?