BMW drivers

So what is it with BMW drivers? Are they deliberately aggressive and obstructive, is it something they are taught when they by one, is it only that type who buy BMWs, or is there some radioactive device built into the dashboard that rots their brain cells, rendering them total morons?

What about the model built specifically for the school run. The X5, a huge lumbering leviathan, massive tyres and wheels, engines of up to four litres and sufficient ground clearance to drive over a lollipop man without knocking off his hat. And driving it, the tiniest, scrawniest, bleached blonde wag-wannabe, sitting on a child booster seat so she can see between the spokes of the steering wheel. Lost some where in the back is an even tinier clone of the mother up front.

Of course the prospect of walking, to a BMW driver, is just too gross to think about, so school-run-mum will probably drive in, past the no entry sign, up the pedestrians only route and drop little Miss Precious right outside the door. In the supermarket she will drive round and round for half an hour until two adjacent spaces are available, close to the door of course, in which she can abandon this huge lump diagonally across them. Unless there is a parent and child, or disabled persons bay available, in which case she will take two of either, or both, of these.

Of course Mr BMW driver is no better. He will disconnect the indicators so that he doesn't give other BMW drivers a good name, he will follow too close and, when you stop and he can't, he will blame you for not going fast enough. He uses the same measuring trick when parking. Because there really isn't enough room to park his phallic extension he will squeeze it so close to those already parked so that they don't have room to get out. This, again, will not be any fault or concern of the BMW driver as part of the contract he signs when his company gives him the all expenses paid car, is that he can never be wrong.


The BMW itself, is a well engineered motor car, with good performance, comfort and reliability, and I would be tempted to buy one. But how embarrassing would it be to be seen getting out having used the indicators, politely allowed someone to cross in front and parked neatly between the lines of a parking space and not shouted obscenities to the pensioner with the Zimmer frame.

P'raps I'll buy a Volvo instead ... or maybe ...

Dry roads!

Now this is better! The sun has been shining, the roads are dry and the curves are sweet! We just gotta get them potholes filled.

A warm and dry weekend is forecast, let's hope it lasts in to next week. It will make the journey to work just that little bit less of a drag.

Let's keep it rubber side down!